More Like Love
Ask any of my friends who my favorite singer is, and they will very quickly respond with "Ben Rector". I'm obsessed. And that isn't even a strong enough word for it.
The funny thing is that two years ago, I HATED Ben Rector's music. It would come on in my sister's car and I would grumble until she changed the song. I just hadn't listened to it all that much and didn't care to listen to it more than I had to. But all of that changed when I was bored on a flight home and listened to his whole album "Ordinary Love". I couldn't stop listening to Ben Rector from that moment forward.
So, when he announced that he was releasing a new album, "Brand New" a year ago, I immediately went and pre-ordered the album. And let me tell you, I've been obsessed.
That whole album makes me dance, cry, laugh, smile, and just love life.
But there's one song that warms my heart more than anything. That song is "More Like Love".
Listening to this song, the lyrics are exactly where my heart is.
The first verse says "I used to think I wanted to be famous, I'd be recognized out in a crowd. But the funny thing is every time I've gotten what I want, it lets me down". You see, I literally wanted to be famous eight years ago. I wanted to become a Broadway star and would dream of the day my name would be in lights in NYC. I dreamed of that and pursued that with all I had within me. As I was performing every night for two weeks on the professional stage, I fell in love. I loved the rush of being on stage, but it just wasn't all that I wanted...I wanted something more, but I wasn't sure what. I would perform the length of the show run, enjoy every second of it, and still come up wanting more. I was never fully satisfied. However, I didn't realize this until later in life. I literally told my parents around my sophomore year of high school "There is NOTHING I am more passionate about than theatre, and my life has to be all about musical theatre".
The next verse says "I used to think I needed all the answers, I used to need to know that I was right. I used to be afraid of the things I couldn't cover up in the lime light". This is/was me. I loved being right, and I still do sometimes. I loved to prove people wrong. I never was okay with going with the flow...I had to know every ounce of information before I proceeded to do anything. I would push so hard so that people would know I was right. I would step on toes, if necessary, in order to get my point across. I had to prove myself to everyone around me.
Honestly, a life like that is extremely draining. I know it; I've lived it. I would be so busy trying to make a name for myself in the professional theatre world that I didn't have time, energy, or the desire to devote to friendships. Then, when I was in high school and had a little more free time, I would spend it with friends. However, I would constantly be trying to be right. I would argue and fight with them over petty things just to prove that I was right and that I thought I was better than them. I never truly got to know them for who they were or got to know their heart. That should not be how I live my life.
Luckily, the Lord gripped my heart. I wanted to focus on helping other people and not focus on making myself look better. I wanted to focus on knowing my friends and loving them for who they were, not for what they could offer.
Honestly, I did that for a while, but then I reverted to what was comfortable for me. I was trying to make myself look cooler and better than the people around me.
I'm known for being sassy and sarcastic, but I realized about two months ago that I wasn't aware of the repercussions of my actions. I would quickly make a comment that was hurtful to a person, and shrug it off as if it wasn't a big deal. I would make others laugh by hurting the people around me, and that is not okay.
I started to realize how, even though I typically play off those types of jokes and comments well when they're directed at me, those comments hurt me. I don't like people making fun of me, as it hurts deep sometimes, but I like having that kind of relationship with people. I realized the weight of those joking words in my own life and that pain is not something that I want to inflict on others.
The chorus of the song says "I just wanna look more like love. I just wanna look more like love. This whole world is spinning crazy, I can't quite keep up. It's the one thing around here that we don't have quite enough of; so I just wanna look a little more like love".
That's my heart now. I want to look more like love to the people around me.
In James 3, it talks about the strength of the human tongue and how we cannot tame the tongue on our own strength. Furthermore, it says "does a spring pour forth from the same opening both fresh and salt water?". It was a hard hitting verse. Yes, I've known this passage my whole life, but it was so helpful to see this parallel with two verses: Proverbs 4:23, "Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life", and Matthew 15:18 "From the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks". My heart is the wellspring of life that can either pour forth fresh water or salt water. And that water comes out in the form of my words. I want to speak life into people.
Jim Elliot said "Today will never come again. Be a blessing. Be a friend. Encourage someone. Take time to care. Let your words heal, not wound." That's been my heartcry for the last few months. I've known this quote for years- it was even my senior quote. But, I haven't seen the weight of this in my everyday life. By attempting to live it out, I've seen greater joy in my own life and have watched how it changes people's lives around me.
Let me tell you, it's not easy for a sarcastic girl to let her words be seasoned with salt as we are told in Colossians 4:5-6. The Lord has been gripping me lately to be better and change the way I use words. It's been a challenge. I still fail. WOOHOO failure! It's been reminding me that I cannot do it on my own. I need to trust Him and allow Him to have control so that I can live out His commands.
It's not easy. It's not always fun. But, being obedient is doing things right away, all the way, and with a happy heart...so I'm obeying, as best as I can, on His strength.
The funny thing is that two years ago, I HATED Ben Rector's music. It would come on in my sister's car and I would grumble until she changed the song. I just hadn't listened to it all that much and didn't care to listen to it more than I had to. But all of that changed when I was bored on a flight home and listened to his whole album "Ordinary Love". I couldn't stop listening to Ben Rector from that moment forward.
So, when he announced that he was releasing a new album, "Brand New" a year ago, I immediately went and pre-ordered the album. And let me tell you, I've been obsessed.
That whole album makes me dance, cry, laugh, smile, and just love life.
But there's one song that warms my heart more than anything. That song is "More Like Love".
Listening to this song, the lyrics are exactly where my heart is.
The first verse says "I used to think I wanted to be famous, I'd be recognized out in a crowd. But the funny thing is every time I've gotten what I want, it lets me down". You see, I literally wanted to be famous eight years ago. I wanted to become a Broadway star and would dream of the day my name would be in lights in NYC. I dreamed of that and pursued that with all I had within me. As I was performing every night for two weeks on the professional stage, I fell in love. I loved the rush of being on stage, but it just wasn't all that I wanted...I wanted something more, but I wasn't sure what. I would perform the length of the show run, enjoy every second of it, and still come up wanting more. I was never fully satisfied. However, I didn't realize this until later in life. I literally told my parents around my sophomore year of high school "There is NOTHING I am more passionate about than theatre, and my life has to be all about musical theatre".
The next verse says "I used to think I needed all the answers, I used to need to know that I was right. I used to be afraid of the things I couldn't cover up in the lime light". This is/was me. I loved being right, and I still do sometimes. I loved to prove people wrong. I never was okay with going with the flow...I had to know every ounce of information before I proceeded to do anything. I would push so hard so that people would know I was right. I would step on toes, if necessary, in order to get my point across. I had to prove myself to everyone around me.
Honestly, a life like that is extremely draining. I know it; I've lived it. I would be so busy trying to make a name for myself in the professional theatre world that I didn't have time, energy, or the desire to devote to friendships. Then, when I was in high school and had a little more free time, I would spend it with friends. However, I would constantly be trying to be right. I would argue and fight with them over petty things just to prove that I was right and that I thought I was better than them. I never truly got to know them for who they were or got to know their heart. That should not be how I live my life.
Luckily, the Lord gripped my heart. I wanted to focus on helping other people and not focus on making myself look better. I wanted to focus on knowing my friends and loving them for who they were, not for what they could offer.
Honestly, I did that for a while, but then I reverted to what was comfortable for me. I was trying to make myself look cooler and better than the people around me.
I'm known for being sassy and sarcastic, but I realized about two months ago that I wasn't aware of the repercussions of my actions. I would quickly make a comment that was hurtful to a person, and shrug it off as if it wasn't a big deal. I would make others laugh by hurting the people around me, and that is not okay.
I started to realize how, even though I typically play off those types of jokes and comments well when they're directed at me, those comments hurt me. I don't like people making fun of me, as it hurts deep sometimes, but I like having that kind of relationship with people. I realized the weight of those joking words in my own life and that pain is not something that I want to inflict on others.
The chorus of the song says "I just wanna look more like love. I just wanna look more like love. This whole world is spinning crazy, I can't quite keep up. It's the one thing around here that we don't have quite enough of; so I just wanna look a little more like love".
That's my heart now. I want to look more like love to the people around me.
In James 3, it talks about the strength of the human tongue and how we cannot tame the tongue on our own strength. Furthermore, it says "does a spring pour forth from the same opening both fresh and salt water?". It was a hard hitting verse. Yes, I've known this passage my whole life, but it was so helpful to see this parallel with two verses: Proverbs 4:23, "Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life", and Matthew 15:18 "From the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks". My heart is the wellspring of life that can either pour forth fresh water or salt water. And that water comes out in the form of my words. I want to speak life into people.
Jim Elliot said "Today will never come again. Be a blessing. Be a friend. Encourage someone. Take time to care. Let your words heal, not wound." That's been my heartcry for the last few months. I've known this quote for years- it was even my senior quote. But, I haven't seen the weight of this in my everyday life. By attempting to live it out, I've seen greater joy in my own life and have watched how it changes people's lives around me.
Let me tell you, it's not easy for a sarcastic girl to let her words be seasoned with salt as we are told in Colossians 4:5-6. The Lord has been gripping me lately to be better and change the way I use words. It's been a challenge. I still fail. WOOHOO failure! It's been reminding me that I cannot do it on my own. I need to trust Him and allow Him to have control so that I can live out His commands.
It's not easy. It's not always fun. But, being obedient is doing things right away, all the way, and with a happy heart...so I'm obeying, as best as I can, on His strength.
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